Merlin's Musings

THis is one of those rare days. Those days when I seem to feel so deeply I don't have words and I'm humbled to a state of what seems like pure raw emotion. It's as if I'm spun glass and if I were touched in just the slightest way I'd shatter into a gazillion shards.

[More:]

I say rare days but ya know I used to have years of feeling like that. This one caught me off guard..I almost didn't recognize the feeling. Progress I guess. A few seemingly unconnected events and I started snarling, I got impatient with those I love deepest, and with their patient coaxing..the tears of release started to flow. I had a good old fashioned knock down drag out gullywasher of a cry. And then I got up and blew my nose and met with a friend and talked it all through. What it was like, what happened, and where I stand now isn't just for 12 step calls. It seems to be an integral part of me discovering how I feel about a situation or person.

Even though this combined experience was all positive.. I still have to honor my feelings. I still have to stop and explore. Process things. This one left me feeling vulnerable. Feeling humbled but at the same time raw. So today I'm using another tool and that is simply getting back to basics and being extra gentle on myself. A lil extra pampering in the shower...perhaps a quiet walk in my garden later...maybe some fishing this evening.. NO "work" for awhile. Just processing and absorbing and getting used to the fit of this new awareness. Just sitting still and being.