The Head Center

As I progressed in AA, as I took the steps, as I grew spiritually, I frequently felt as if I still was not doing enough. I often compared myself to others and it always seemed the people who I looked up to had a better program than I. More sponsees. More 12 Step calls. More prayer. Better meetings. A heartier laugh.

I was certainly afraid of drinking. That's something to be respectful of if you are still on unsure spiritual footing, which I was at the time.

Then it hit me. I'm not sure of the exact way the idea got into my head, but, I think we all realize at some point that we don't just come up with brilliance -- we hear it at meetings while we're daydreaming and then make it our own. But the brilliance that landed on me that day, the gem that I plucked from the ether, was a simple and clear idea.

Never try to do more than is humanly possible.

As soon as I think I can do more than I am able to do, I exalt myself to the level of God. As soon as I think I can handle my affairs, I don't need God to handle them any longer. As soon as I think I can be a good brother, a capable sponsor, a smart engineer, or a decent friend, I don't need God to help me be those things any more.

Surrender let's God in. Don't edge him out by expecting of yourself a level of performance that creates undue stress in your life.

-- izzy

"It has to stop. This has to stop. This madness must end."
- me on March 7, 2000, the day I took my last drink

Welcome. I won't say that you're in the right place. I hope you have a home 12-step group that you visit in person. I hope you have a sponsor that you meet with in the flesh. This blog is for a number of things that are merely related to sobriety and nothing I've found online is a decent substitute for brick-and-mortar 12-step meetings. That having been said, you are welcome here under any circumstances. And if you don't have a face meeting you attend yet, believe me, I understand.

The things I will try to accomplish in this blog are to inform, entertain, and hopefully, occasionally inspire you. So I welcome you and I'm glad you decided to drop by. Please come by any time and make yourself comfortable.

- The Izman

"Help is possible. Oh my god, help is possible.
I can do this. I can let these people help me."
- March 8, 2000