The Head Center

I sit here with my age and all my years of hard living hanging on every muscle and impinging on every joint. My insides don't forgive me for the missed check-ups and maintenance visits. My spiritual connection to AA has subsided; I have taken up the mantle of atheism. My physical connection to meetings, though I have gone to two in two days, is slight.

I heard an old coot share tonight. A good old boy I appreciate very much. He had been spared death on numerous occasions, having flown over the handlebars of a motorcycle at high speed and then his liver went sour decades later from the hepatitis he received along with the blood transfusion. I also reconnected with an old coworker and friday beer bash drinking buddy who was at the meeting. The coot's topic was gratitude and though it seemed redundant that a lot of folks were grateful to be sober and such, tonight it struck me and I found myself grateful for precisely that.

I forget sometimes that sobriety and the work of recovery provides for sobriety. I expect and want a whole lot more. If I can settle in and go to AA in order to simply not drink, I might get a lot more out of it.