The Head Center

As I progressed in AA, as I took the steps, as I grew spiritually, I frequently felt as if I still was not doing enough. I often compared myself to others and it always seemed the people who I looked up to had a better program than I. More sponsees. More 12 Step calls. More prayer. Better meetings. A heartier laugh.

I was certainly afraid of drinking. That's something to be respectful of if you are still on unsure spiritual footing, which I was at the time.

Then it hit me. I'm not sure of the exact way the idea got into my head, but, I think we all realize at some point that we don't just come up with brilliance -- we hear it at meetings while we're daydreaming and then make it our own. But the brilliance that landed on me that day, the gem that I plucked from the ether, was a simple and clear idea.

Never try to do more than is humanly possible.

As soon as I think I can do more than I am able to do, I exalt myself to the level of God. As soon as I think I can handle my affairs, I don't need God to handle them any longer. As soon as I think I can be a good brother, a capable sponsor, a smart engineer, or a decent friend, I don't need God to help me be those things any more.

Surrender let's God in. Don't edge him out by expecting of yourself a level of performance that creates undue stress in your life.

-- izzy