24 Hours At A Time

I did yardwork all day Saturday. It's good exercise and I love seeing the results. As it got close to 5 o'clock, I had 1 more section of the front yard to mow; about an hour's mowing. I really needed to call it a day, though. It was time to take a shower, make an AA phone call, and get ready for my Saturday night meeting. But I wanted to be done with the mowing, too. I decided to finish mowing and then go inside. I could still call someone in the program later. I would miss my meeting, but I had already been to 3 meetings last week.
On my way back outside, I came accross a dark stain on our wooden deck. The stain was my blood. Last September, after a day of blackout drinking, I had passed out at this spot and fallen down. I remember nothing. I woke up in the emergency room with a broken nose and a headache. This was just 1 of many trips to the ER last Fall.
As I stared at that blood, I thought about priorities. What was REALLY more important, that AA meeting or getting ahead on my yardwork? The answer was simple. I mean, for a true drunk like me, I MUST make AA meetings priority #1. Because if I don't, my next broken nose is just around the corner. And then the yard (and the house, and my car, and my liscense, ect...) all just disappear anyway. It was a great meeting. The topic, oddly enough, was staying consistent in your program. God speaks to us in those AA meetings.-Frosty

It is 1:30 am. I just awoke from a "drunk dream," aka using dream. These are a nightly occurence for me. They are terrifying. They emcompass everything I did during my drinking days: driving drunk with my kids in the car, physical fights with my wife, being drunk at work, and so on. The dreams seem so real. I swear I can taste the charcol-mellowed whiskey on my breath. Then the thoughts of the relapse become seemingly real: I've got to call my sponsor, change my sobriety date. Do my kids know? Did I lose my job, ect...
When I woke up, there was obvious relief. I realized it was simply yet another dream. My sponsor tells me these are a normal experience for someone early in sobriety like me. He says they are a good reminder of where I don't want to go back to. I can agree with that. They scare the crap out of me. I don't like them. But they are better than actually being drunk. And for that I am grateful. Can anyone relate to this?-Frosty